CHINA, NATIONAL, NEWS, BEIJING, SOCIETY, QUEER AS FOLKS: A Study of Homosexuality on Campus, Part Two
See Part One
(Editor's note: To protect the right to privacy, all names in this study are aliases.)
By Lin Lin
In the lesbian world, females are divided into two kinds: T and P. T stands for tomboy, those who dress, act and behave like a male. P stands for Po, or wife, who is more feminine. The difference between T and P are becoming blurred as many lesbians transfer from one to the other.
T
"Homosexuality is just the same as heterosexuality. There are actually no differences other than we love people of the same gender."
Tutu found her homosexuality in junior two. She fell in love with one of her close friends then who was straight. Since the girl was the superintendent's daughter, Tutu dared not confess to her for fear of infuriating her mother and destroying their friendship. Thus with great pains, she'd carefully hidden her emotion for years.
Because of her talent for playing soccer, Tutu became a professional soccer player in senior high and played for a club. "Most girls in the soccer club were lesbians, and it was the first time in my life I found a sense of belonging." There, Tutu made a great many friends and found her first partner.
"I used to feel ashamed about my homosexuality. I had no one to talk to and I lived in disguise. Life was such a misery for me. But now I have a large circle of friends who can really understand me. It's their friendship that gives me the peace of mind and the courage to face my life. I still don't tell people my sexuality on my own initiative. But if they ask me, I will definitely tell the truth."
Tutu is now studying in Beijing Sport University. Last year, through the military training course, she came to know Joe, a sophomore from BNU, and fell in love with her. "Joe had just broken up with her boyfriend when we met. She'd never had relationships with girls before, so I wasn't sure whether she would accept my love. I had a really hard time trying to hide my feeling towards her. Luckily, when I finally made up my mind to confess to her, she accepted me."
Tutu admitted that most lesbians are emotionally sensitive. "Joe is bisexual (as are most Ps) and I'm jealous whenever she goes close to the boys. We are a perfect couple, but still we quarrel, because of those boys who never stop approaching her. She says that's pure friendship but I'm always unhappy. I feel threatened by those handsome boys."
"But I know I have to be realistic. Joe and I still don't have the courage to tell our parents about our relationship. If Joe's parents find our love totally unacceptable, I'll let her go, though I'm so scared of the idea of losing her. Still, I'm satisfied as long as she lives a happy life," tears rolled down as Tutu explained.
"But if my parents find my sexuality unacceptable, I can do nothing except apologize, because I'm born this way. If I marry a man out of their will, the marriage would be a disaster to everyone."
P
"We won't hurt anyone. We just want to fight for our basic right to love as a human. Is that really so wrong and unacceptable?"
Joe has astounding beauty, a head turner of both sexes.
"100% heterosexual and 100% homosexual are two extremes. Aware of it or not, all of us are somewhere in between," Joe said. "No one is 100% heterosexual. When you get the message of love from the same gender, you may naturally react to it."
"I know that many girls nowadays become lesbians simply for fun or fashion, but I'm not one of them. I take this relationship seriously. After all, it is not a game," Joe said.
In Joe's school, seven girls share one dormitory. The room became more crowded when the eighth one--Tutu--moved in. Putting up a curtain around Joe's bed, she and Tutu finally found their little private space. "We two are grateful that all my roommates and friends are very understanding and supportive," Joe said. "I guess that's partly because I major in psychology and people around me can treat homosexuality rationally and professionally."
"One of my friends in our school who majors in philosophy was driven out of her dorm and told never to come back again, because her roommates think homosexuality is something disgusting and sinful. Whenever Tutu or I go by their room, they throw things at us as if we are sinful creatures."
"Many people cannot understand why I choose to be with Tutu. I've been hurt by men before and I constantly feel insecure. Tutu is caring, considerate and, above all, she loves me as if I'm her everything. The sense of security and intimacy she gives me was such that I can hardly live without it."
"Most people don't take the lesbian issue as something serious, at least not as serious as gays. I guess that's because of the AIDS things. Most people don't feel threatened by lesbians, only gays. However, if this is why they don't take lesbians seriously, that's ridiculous. None of my ex's believe that I'm a lesbian now even when I tell them many times. They think I'm just kidding."
"I love Tutu. But to be honest, I'm not positive about our future. Whenever I go back home, my parents are always eager to know have I found a new boyfriend and when am I going to introduce him to them. I don't know how to confess to them. I dare not see their furiousness and disappointment."
"I'm bisexual," Joe said with emphasis. "And I know clearly that I'll marry a man one day for the sake of my parents. But I really don't expect there will ever be a man who treats me better than Tutu. The intimacy between women can never be found between a man and a woman."
* * *
Through Internet chatrooms, we interviewed several gay students. The following is some of what they had to say about homosexuality.
Ted: "I'll soon graduate from the college. I don't know how much difficulty is waiting for me in the future. Though I have always kept a eager heart for true love, yet, facing all the pressures, how long can I persist?"
Alan: "Hugo said man's mind is wider than the sky. I am thankful to those who have given me love and care. Thus I am going to use my knowledge to serve the people just like me."
Jie: "If there had been someone telling me what homosexual really was when I just had a rough idea of sex, I wouldn't have spent my precious youth in misery. Perhaps I would have learned how to face life and myself."
Brant: "How can you imagine telling someone that you are gay? I'm afraid people will never make friends with me. I even have a girlfriend to pretend that I am straight."
We also interviewed students on campus at BFSU who are straight to learn their thoughts on homosexuality.
"I hate homosexuals, and my family hates them, too. It's sinful, isn't it?" said Eric, a junior student and a controversial figure because of his big quarrel with a gay student on campus last semester. Though total strangers, he cursed the gay student to his face simply because of his sexuality when they came across each other on campus.
"In today's world, nothing is too odd. I think it's just a way of life, and their basic rights should be properly protected. Anyway, it's ok with me, but I will never live that way," said Vivian, a junior student in BFSU.
"Both Tutu and Joe are kind and loving girls. They should be wished happiness instead of being cursed. Their pursuit of love has no difference from ours. Prejudice cannot solve any problems, it only causes more," said Phoebe, Joe's roommate.
* * *
What statistics, publications and experts have to tell us:
According to Zhang Beichuan, Martin Prize winner (a prestigious international award honoring people who have made great contributions to AIDS prevention and awareness) and psychoanalyst of the Hospital attached to Qingdao University, 77% of Chinese homosexuals have suffered greatly, 34% have had strong motivations of committing suicide, 10% have attempted to commit suicide but failed. 66% feel lonely and greatly depressed, 50% feel their sexual orientation has affected their work. 38% have been insulted, sexually harassed, and beaten up or blackmailed.
In a nation-wide survey conducted by Professor Pan from People's University, he found that 6% of Chinese college students have had sexual contacts with the same sex during their college years. Gay students are more numerous than lesbian ones, in the ratio of 2.24 to 1.
According to China Daily in August, 2005, heavy social pressure has forced about 80-90% of the estimated 40 million homosexual Chinese into marriage, causing great personal suffering as well as ruining the lives of their spouses.
On Sept. 07, 2005, the Sociology Department of Fudan University started an optional course for its undergraduates--the Study of Homosexuality, by Professor Sun Zhongxin. The classroom is filled up inside and out every week, with eager students, journalists and social activists. "Everytime, I have to come to the classroom four hours earlier so as to get a seat," said Wang, a student from the Finance Department.
"Students are curious because homosexuality in China is still in an underground existence, something hidden in the cupboard," said Professor Sun. "Through this course I hope that discriminations can somehow be reduced among university students."
"It is very necessary to have related classes. The crucial thing is to promote science. On one hand, knowledge on anti-sexual-orientation-discrimination should be added to courses and lectures on love and sex to help build a positive living environment for gay students in college. On the other hand, the promotion of knowledge on the prevention of AIDS should be strengthened," said Dr. Wang, a specialized psychoanalyst for university students.
"This course surely marks a step forward in our education. But its unexpected popularity, on the other hand, also reflects our ignorance of homosexuality," said Sue, a senior student.
Fourteen years ago, Cui Zi'en, the vice-professor of Beijing Institute of Film, and a screenwriter, wrote and starred in a film on homosexuality: Men and Women. When he publicly confessed his sexual orientation in 1991, the school dismissed him from his post and he was not allowed to teach for the next 10 years.
"It is difficult to change people's stereotype merely through courses," said Professor Sun. "Now our courses on homosexuality still stay at the level of eliminating illiteracy. The unusual popularity of this course might be a joke in the future history."
* * *
The times are indeed changing:
Books on homosexuality studies by famous sociologists such as Li Yinhe have emerged on the shelves of all bookstores. Also, various non-governmental organizations have been founded, such as Tong Yu for lesbians and China Rainbow.
Laws have been revised to protect the basic rights of homosexuals in China. In 1997, China's Criminal Law was revised and decriminalized sodomy. In 2001, homosexuality was struck off China's long list of "mental disorders."
(Guo Kaiyu contributed to the reporting of this article. Lin Lin is this year's Chief Editor of the department's innovative print newspaper, First Mover – the Editors)
(Editor's note: To protect the right to privacy, all names in this study are aliases.)
By Lin Lin
In the lesbian world, females are divided into two kinds: T and P. T stands for tomboy, those who dress, act and behave like a male. P stands for Po, or wife, who is more feminine. The difference between T and P are becoming blurred as many lesbians transfer from one to the other.
"Homosexuality is just the same as heterosexuality. There are actually no differences other than we love people of the same gender."
Tutu found her homosexuality in junior two. She fell in love with one of her close friends then who was straight. Since the girl was the superintendent's daughter, Tutu dared not confess to her for fear of infuriating her mother and destroying their friendship. Thus with great pains, she'd carefully hidden her emotion for years.
Because of her talent for playing soccer, Tutu became a professional soccer player in senior high and played for a club. "Most girls in the soccer club were lesbians, and it was the first time in my life I found a sense of belonging." There, Tutu made a great many friends and found her first partner.
"I used to feel ashamed about my homosexuality. I had no one to talk to and I lived in disguise. Life was such a misery for me. But now I have a large circle of friends who can really understand me. It's their friendship that gives me the peace of mind and the courage to face my life. I still don't tell people my sexuality on my own initiative. But if they ask me, I will definitely tell the truth."
Tutu is now studying in Beijing Sport University. Last year, through the military training course, she came to know Joe, a sophomore from BNU, and fell in love with her. "Joe had just broken up with her boyfriend when we met. She'd never had relationships with girls before, so I wasn't sure whether she would accept my love. I had a really hard time trying to hide my feeling towards her. Luckily, when I finally made up my mind to confess to her, she accepted me."
Tutu admitted that most lesbians are emotionally sensitive. "Joe is bisexual (as are most Ps) and I'm jealous whenever she goes close to the boys. We are a perfect couple, but still we quarrel, because of those boys who never stop approaching her. She says that's pure friendship but I'm always unhappy. I feel threatened by those handsome boys."
"But I know I have to be realistic. Joe and I still don't have the courage to tell our parents about our relationship. If Joe's parents find our love totally unacceptable, I'll let her go, though I'm so scared of the idea of losing her. Still, I'm satisfied as long as she lives a happy life," tears rolled down as Tutu explained.
"But if my parents find my sexuality unacceptable, I can do nothing except apologize, because I'm born this way. If I marry a man out of their will, the marriage would be a disaster to everyone."
"We won't hurt anyone. We just want to fight for our basic right to love as a human. Is that really so wrong and unacceptable?"
Joe has astounding beauty, a head turner of both sexes.
"100% heterosexual and 100% homosexual are two extremes. Aware of it or not, all of us are somewhere in between," Joe said. "No one is 100% heterosexual. When you get the message of love from the same gender, you may naturally react to it."
"I know that many girls nowadays become lesbians simply for fun or fashion, but I'm not one of them. I take this relationship seriously. After all, it is not a game," Joe said.
In Joe's school, seven girls share one dormitory. The room became more crowded when the eighth one--Tutu--moved in. Putting up a curtain around Joe's bed, she and Tutu finally found their little private space. "We two are grateful that all my roommates and friends are very understanding and supportive," Joe said. "I guess that's partly because I major in psychology and people around me can treat homosexuality rationally and professionally."
"One of my friends in our school who majors in philosophy was driven out of her dorm and told never to come back again, because her roommates think homosexuality is something disgusting and sinful. Whenever Tutu or I go by their room, they throw things at us as if we are sinful creatures."
"Many people cannot understand why I choose to be with Tutu. I've been hurt by men before and I constantly feel insecure. Tutu is caring, considerate and, above all, she loves me as if I'm her everything. The sense of security and intimacy she gives me was such that I can hardly live without it."
"Most people don't take the lesbian issue as something serious, at least not as serious as gays. I guess that's because of the AIDS things. Most people don't feel threatened by lesbians, only gays. However, if this is why they don't take lesbians seriously, that's ridiculous. None of my ex's believe that I'm a lesbian now even when I tell them many times. They think I'm just kidding."
"I love Tutu. But to be honest, I'm not positive about our future. Whenever I go back home, my parents are always eager to know have I found a new boyfriend and when am I going to introduce him to them. I don't know how to confess to them. I dare not see their furiousness and disappointment."
"I'm bisexual," Joe said with emphasis. "And I know clearly that I'll marry a man one day for the sake of my parents. But I really don't expect there will ever be a man who treats me better than Tutu. The intimacy between women can never be found between a man and a woman."
Through Internet chatrooms, we interviewed several gay students. The following is some of what they had to say about homosexuality.
Ted: "I'll soon graduate from the college. I don't know how much difficulty is waiting for me in the future. Though I have always kept a eager heart for true love, yet, facing all the pressures, how long can I persist?"
Alan: "Hugo said man's mind is wider than the sky. I am thankful to those who have given me love and care. Thus I am going to use my knowledge to serve the people just like me."
Jie: "If there had been someone telling me what homosexual really was when I just had a rough idea of sex, I wouldn't have spent my precious youth in misery. Perhaps I would have learned how to face life and myself."
Brant: "How can you imagine telling someone that you are gay? I'm afraid people will never make friends with me. I even have a girlfriend to pretend that I am straight."
We also interviewed students on campus at BFSU who are straight to learn their thoughts on homosexuality.
"I hate homosexuals, and my family hates them, too. It's sinful, isn't it?" said Eric, a junior student and a controversial figure because of his big quarrel with a gay student on campus last semester. Though total strangers, he cursed the gay student to his face simply because of his sexuality when they came across each other on campus.
"In today's world, nothing is too odd. I think it's just a way of life, and their basic rights should be properly protected. Anyway, it's ok with me, but I will never live that way," said Vivian, a junior student in BFSU.
"Both Tutu and Joe are kind and loving girls. They should be wished happiness instead of being cursed. Their pursuit of love has no difference from ours. Prejudice cannot solve any problems, it only causes more," said Phoebe, Joe's roommate.
What statistics, publications and experts have to tell us:
According to Zhang Beichuan, Martin Prize winner (a prestigious international award honoring people who have made great contributions to AIDS prevention and awareness) and psychoanalyst of the Hospital attached to Qingdao University, 77% of Chinese homosexuals have suffered greatly, 34% have had strong motivations of committing suicide, 10% have attempted to commit suicide but failed. 66% feel lonely and greatly depressed, 50% feel their sexual orientation has affected their work. 38% have been insulted, sexually harassed, and beaten up or blackmailed.
In a nation-wide survey conducted by Professor Pan from People's University, he found that 6% of Chinese college students have had sexual contacts with the same sex during their college years. Gay students are more numerous than lesbian ones, in the ratio of 2.24 to 1.
According to China Daily in August, 2005, heavy social pressure has forced about 80-90% of the estimated 40 million homosexual Chinese into marriage, causing great personal suffering as well as ruining the lives of their spouses.
On Sept. 07, 2005, the Sociology Department of Fudan University started an optional course for its undergraduates--the Study of Homosexuality, by Professor Sun Zhongxin. The classroom is filled up inside and out every week, with eager students, journalists and social activists. "Everytime, I have to come to the classroom four hours earlier so as to get a seat," said Wang, a student from the Finance Department.
"Students are curious because homosexuality in China is still in an underground existence, something hidden in the cupboard," said Professor Sun. "Through this course I hope that discriminations can somehow be reduced among university students."
"It is very necessary to have related classes. The crucial thing is to promote science. On one hand, knowledge on anti-sexual-orientation-discrimination should be added to courses and lectures on love and sex to help build a positive living environment for gay students in college. On the other hand, the promotion of knowledge on the prevention of AIDS should be strengthened," said Dr. Wang, a specialized psychoanalyst for university students.
"This course surely marks a step forward in our education. But its unexpected popularity, on the other hand, also reflects our ignorance of homosexuality," said Sue, a senior student.
Fourteen years ago, Cui Zi'en, the vice-professor of Beijing Institute of Film, and a screenwriter, wrote and starred in a film on homosexuality: Men and Women. When he publicly confessed his sexual orientation in 1991, the school dismissed him from his post and he was not allowed to teach for the next 10 years.
"It is difficult to change people's stereotype merely through courses," said Professor Sun. "Now our courses on homosexuality still stay at the level of eliminating illiteracy. The unusual popularity of this course might be a joke in the future history."
The times are indeed changing:
Books on homosexuality studies by famous sociologists such as Li Yinhe have emerged on the shelves of all bookstores. Also, various non-governmental organizations have been founded, such as Tong Yu for lesbians and China Rainbow.
Laws have been revised to protect the basic rights of homosexuals in China. In 1997, China's Criminal Law was revised and decriminalized sodomy. In 2001, homosexuality was struck off China's long list of "mental disorders."
(Guo Kaiyu contributed to the reporting of this article. Lin Lin is this year's Chief Editor of the department's innovative print newspaper, First Mover – the Editors)
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home