CHINA, NATIONAL, SOCIETY: Confession of a 'Ghost Examinee'

By Lin Lin

Ghost examinees, nicknamed "gunmen," are people who take exams for other people. Some take this job for money, but more often they take it for the sake of their friends. However, what is waiting for them is: once caught, dismission with no exception.

Most ghost examinees are very talented students. However, in today's China, leaving university without a bachelor's degree and a stain on school records, it is like a death penalty. Thus many people feel the authorities have overdone the harshness in dealing with these students. On the other hand, the school authorities insist upon the efficacy of 'fairness and seriousness' in examinations; the tough crack down on any form of cheating in exams is to protect the reputation of Chinese academia.

Regulation or compassion? When faced with these youngsters, which shall we choose?

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I was said to be the first student ever expelled from BFSU.

BFSU was not my first choice. Before coming here, I'd always been a top student, but my inertia urged me to come here as a recommended student. I was interested in linguistics studies, but what was taught and the way of teaching here failed me completely. I began to fall.

Sadly enough, in my sophomore year, the Arabian word atom bomb was always on the tip of my tongue while the word egg was not in my vocabulary. I was totally at loss and could not find a way out. Rock n' roll, skateboarding, computer games, girlfriends took almost all my time. All my ambition, my promise and the top position I'd gotten used to had died away in the smelly dormitory and smoky internet cafes. The decadent life eventually led to the fall of my morality.

The first time I took exams for others was in my freshman year. Altogether I've done it three times, all for the sake of my friends. As for the pay, nothing for the first time, then 700, and the last time 600--only half of the street price. As friends, they paid as much as they wanted or even nothing and I never cared.

Frankly, I seldom suffered a financial crisis--my 800-Yuan monthly income as a tutor was enough for my spending habits. I took the jobs 25% for money, 25% for friends and 50% for fun. It was a way to release my excessive confidence and get a sense of achievement. I could do the listening and reading comprehension simultaneously, and finish the test within one hour, and then sleep for another. And of course, I got the marks my client wanted each time. I never saw the job as a risk, but as a stroll in the park on a sunny Sunday in May. I did it to play with the national-level tests and to mock these rubbishes. In some ways, I am not really a ghost examinee.

Before taking the job, though not 100% sure, I pretty much knew that once caught both students would be expelled. However, in my experience, the fake ID card can get through at first sight, but I never expected that the client's enemy would disclose it and I was caught. Blank-minded, I'd rather believe it was only a nightmare.

Ironically, when I took the job, some of my friends followed, some appreciated and some sat by, but no one ever persuaded me not to do it. People are numb. Sad for the society.

After what had happened, Mom immediately flew to Beijing, visiting the superiors one by one. Her emotion was too vulnerable to bear such a shock. She wept and couldn't sleep every night. This was what I felt most sorry about. Dad never said what I did was right or wrong, but instead gave me many suggestions, both short-term and long-term.

My calm reaction astounded my roommates. Without tears, my parties, computer games, band rehearsals still went on. I spent my last days like nothing had happened, preparing for final exams, queuing in the 3rd dinning hall for kong pao chicken and talking about plans for the next semester's classes.

No outsiders could see I was in trouble. No one knew that when class was over, I went to all departments concerned, knocked on every door and talked with every teacher, in the hope of finding remedies.

I paid for what I've done. Regrets cannot help. As for the future, it's either going abroad or finding another university. But no matter which way I chose, I knew clearly that my family wouldn't give me any financial support. All of my family members are well educated, and you can see how embarrassed I would be not getting even a bachelor degree.

Now I am studying in Europe. Despite the hasty preparation, the process went smoothly. I love the environment here, the challenges along with the opportunities. Striving abroad gave me back a clear mind; I found myself and my drive for life again.

I've paid such a high and painful cost--losing my student identity. It means that I have to pay twice the efforts and an additional 2 or 3 years to get back to the same starting line. Also, I had to leave my best friends and familiar environment to start from nothing in a foreign land. But above all, my life has been blemished forever.

On the other hand, it's also a priceless experience for me. I've always believed that the ultimate goal of life is to experience. Though this case is an extreme one, it enriched my life. It also dragged me out of the sense of loss and made me find myself again. For the first time in my life, I thought seriously and deeply into morality, ethics and people's values systems, things that I'd never bothered to think about before.

It was also my first time to experience the power of the State, which made me more realistic and rational. As for the future, I believe the past will not influence it too much. After all, our life depends on our ability and ambitions, though the ways might be different.

I believe that the current policy towards ghost examinees is only a temporary solution. It can hardly affect a permanent cure. The authorities' attitude is really tough, but I have no objection to what they've done to me. I don't like bureaucracy and support their directness. But whether it is legal to deprive students' identity still needs further discussion. There was a lawsuit concerning the issue, which ended up with a triumph of the student side.

You know, almost all the university students in China are patients, and they need a thorough treatment. The fall of my, or rather our morality, is only superficially owed to the social environment, but it is deeply rooted in our sense of loss. As the elites of the country--allow me to address myself this way--we live without drives and goals, and the decadent campus life finally leads to the fall of morality.

Besides, the inadequate education system as well as the general fickleness among students accounts for much of the frequency of cheating and plagiarism. When I took the job, many friends had the same intention and came to me for consultation. They all seemed so excellent and innocent; but if the conditions permitted, they would do the same thing I did.

I don’t feel as guilty as I appear on my self-examination report. Don't take me as stubborn--I know I have nothing to argue about: But should you not forget that while I was polluting the society, the society had already polluted me. I was a pest, but I was also a rotten leaf gnawed by pests. While I shoulder my responsibility, the society should take its own responsibility as well.

We are ill. Seriously. What we need is a thorough treatment rather than some superficial work. I hope that my case is the beginning of this thorough treatment by society, not just like spoiled meat sliced off and thrown into the garbage bin.