COMMENTARY: Why Must We Resolve Cultural Differences?

By Shi Rui

A sequence of questions was designed by our teachers when we finished reading the second part of Amy Tan's novel The Joy Luck Club. "What do you think of a cross-cultural marriage? Will you marry a foreign guy? Do you think cultural differences can be resolved?"

There is a premise in the last question: cultural differences should absolutely be resolved, or cross-cultural marriages can not be considered successful.

Why? I can see no logic here. Why must we resolve cultural differences?

There are two types of friends: those who share the same characteristics with you and those who complement you. Lovers fall into the same two categories. We are just more inclined to focus on the former sort of people when we make friends or look for lovers.

If the idea that only people who are alike can live together happily is true, then there would be few happy couples. When talking about cultural differences we must realize that they exist not only between countries, but also inside countries. In fact they exist everywhere.

A Sichuan man can be very different from a Cantonese woman. They were brought up on different landforms, in different climates, eating different foods; they speak different dialects, making it difficult to even understand one another initially. But do we ask them to resolve their cultural differences if they want to marry? No.

In ancient China people married their cousins or neighbors or their fathers' friends' children because they had similar family backgrounds (门当户对). Nowadays people marry whom they love, no matter if he or she is from Sichuan or Guangdong, no matter if one's father is a mayor and the other’s is a farmer. They believe their love and respect for each other can eliminate all the problems. In this, we have made great progress.

Class can not be resolved, neither can cultural differences. As long as the couple love each other and respect each other's differences they can have a family in harmony.

The design of this sequence of questions also shows a controversial social attitude towards international marriages. I think we should look at the whole thing from a progressive perspective. One thousand years ago, when the movement of populations was limited to a small area, people thought it was strange to marry a new comer who lived in the village for less than five generations. It's just the same as people nowadays who think it is strange to marry a foreigner.

With the advancement of the human race, I think there must be a day in the future when people will feel it is strange to marry an ET. Then, the so-called cross-cultural marriage will have another meaning, and the international marriage will not even be a topic worth discussing.

Last and also least, I'd like to provide a completely new way to judge the cross-cultural marriage, a scientific way actually. Geneticists tell us the more different the parents' genes are the better genes their kids can get. So, at least we can get cleverer, prettier and healthier babies from those controversial marriages.